You know you’re an SLP when…

5 Jul

This phrase pops up a lot in my search engine terms so I thought I’d compile an extensive list of some of my favorite SLP inside-jokes.

Here we go:

You know you’re a Speech-Language Pathologist when…

…you speak entirely in abbreviations

…you are often caught spending endless amounts of money in the dollar store and yelling “WHAT?! Its for my JOB, ok?!?!”

…you casually drop the words “diadochokinetic rates” at parties to impress your friends

…you are the only adult you know who still plays with bubbles on a daily basis and enjoys it

…you could easily do language therapy with the items in your purse

…you carry earplugs around and worry about infant hearing loss at hockey games

…you see bad parenting and start talking loudly about the duties of a mandated reporter

…you ask excitedly to look in someone’s ears if they say they’re sick

…you understand that ‘ship’ and ‘sip’ do NOT start with the same sound

…you’ve been known to talk to yourself in your room in funny voices for hours on end

…listening to Screamo hurts your vocal folds almost as much as your cochlea

…you’ve possibly lost all connection with the male population…other than little boys, old men, and the occasional good-looking dad.

…you notice a friend is a little hoarse and you ask them if they know their current S/Z ratio

…you get annoyed by people’s impossible pragmatic skills

…friends and family ask you to assess their children, too bad you already did it without them knowing.

…you use the term “quick and dirty” in a clinical setting

…SOAP has nothing to do with staying clean

…. /ju noʊ wət ðIs sɛz /

…you tell all of your friends that your boyfriend has the largest set of … tonsils that you’ve ever seen.

…you hesitate to set up one of your SLP gal pals with a guy because he MAYBE (yeah he does) has a lisp

…your friends assume you have early onset dementia every time you lose something

…you realize your name tag has had a sticker covering your name for a week. That sticker says “I like to follow the leader!”

…your friend has a new boyfriend and you’re worried about their future children because he has some syndromic features

…you get the giggles at a conference when someone is referred to as a swallowing expert

…you’ve ever spent an extended period of time trying to explain your career to people. “No I don’t work with just /r/” “No, I’m not a glorified teacher” “No I don’t play board games for the sake of playing board games” “No I’m not a linguist” “No I don’t want to work on the radio”

…you genuinely enjoy your job every day.  Nanny nanny naaaanny to people that don’t like their jobs!

NP: Nicki Minaj – Super Bass

(Thanks to all the SLPs I stole some of these from!)

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8 Responses to “You know you’re an SLP when…”

  1. Samantha Deutsch December 14, 2012 at 7:33 am #

    This is so true! I completely agree– my husband jokes that we can’t pass a dollar store without me stopping although it is usually me (not my friends) who think I have early onset dementia:) Thanks for posting!

  2. Alexis January 1, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

    …you nonchalantly say “I think I just aspirated”

  3. aacerson February 27, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Speech Clinic and commented:
    OK, I had to reblog this for all you SLP’s out there. This is great for a laugh!

  4. aacerson February 27, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    I loved this so much I had to reblog it! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Mary Lou Lange June 30, 2013 at 7:38 am #

    I have been an SLP for 30 years and these never go away!!!

  6. Overnight Reputation Management July 7, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

    A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment.

    I do think that you ought to write more about this subject matter,
    it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t speak about such issues. To the next! Cheers!!

  7. Victoria Ryan October 7, 2013 at 2:24 pm #

    Awesome jokes!!! Forwarding some to a few slp that would get a kick out of them.. Thanks for the laughs :)

  8. Tammy November 3, 2013 at 6:30 am #

    Soooooo on point! Especially about assessing friends & family members children lol :)

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