Graduate School = Murderer of Love?

20 Apr

When I was a senior undergrad, one of my SLP professors told me I might as well break-up with my boyfriend now because I wouldn’t have time for one in grad school. I “pshaw”-ed her, we’re IN LOOOOVE, and continued about my business.

In retrospect I probably should have listened to the nice lady’s advice.

Because graduate school KILLS LOVE.

This is not an exaggeration. Would I joke about something like this? NAY. I wouldn’t.

I shall elaborate…

There are 30 some odd people in my class. Which is a lot. Since we’re a class of nearly 94% females and almost 40% of those females LOVE THE LORD SO MUCH – we have a lot of married people and engaged people (approximately 30% of my class). Also we live in the Bible Belt where child-brides are smiled upon. So they don’t really fit into this equation because they’re crazy (sorry girls, I love you, but man, being married at age 22 must suck).

We also have several non-traditional students – they’re allowed to be married since they’re over the age of 25. I give them permission.

This leaves 70% of my class unmarried. Of the 70% of us, 13 started off graduate school in a committed relationship (62%). Currently, FIVE are still with their significant other.


FIVE? Did you say FIVE? YEAH I SAID FIVE. And one of those five I know for a fact is only still in a relationship because the significant other is clearly oblivious or delusional.

That means there have been eight breakups in less than a year, in a pretty homogeneous group. If you start graduate school in a relationship there is a 40% chance you’ll make it. There’s a 23% chance you’ll get engaged.

Them’s some shady odds.

And these aren’t little pithy breakups. These are serious breakups of couples we thought were getting married. These are breakups that makes us say things like, “IF THEY CAN’T MAKE IT WHO CAN?!”

There was one case of a breakup that got back together. ONE.


I’ll tell you. Graduate school is a pain in the behind. I get to campus at eight every morning and most nights I’m home at eight or later. I don’t have time for someone else’s bull. I just want to eat, sleep, and gossip once I’m home. I don’t want to listen to someone else whining or complaining that they don’t get enough attention from me.

That’s right. Significant others who are not in school cannot comprehend the exhaustion we’re experiencing. And since we aren’t married we aren’t about to put the time or energy into “working it out”. No, no. You know what saves everyone a lot of time? BREAK-UP.


On the upside, there were three people who started graduate school single and are now in a relationship. So that’s good. I guess. I wish them luck. They’re going to need it.

On the other upside, the people who have broken up are having tons of fun dating and actin’ the fool and not answering to anyone. Or we’re just dating and getting attached, then breaking up with THOSE people too.

Not so fun.


3 Responses to “Graduate School = Murderer of Love?”

  1. kamarlowete April 27, 2014 at 11:21 pm #

    I think, possibly, we’re at the same University. Or we were. Alas.

    • weathersby April 28, 2014 at 5:22 pm #

      Really? Or does it just FEEL that way?

      • kamarlowete April 28, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

        Probably not. I’m in NM, but it does feel like that.

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